Falling In Love or Infatuation

Hey been dying to meet you mmmm, 

It's like being told to stay away from the fire but I can't stop wondering about the flame. Is it warm or will it burn. Obviously the logical thought is it will burn. It happens each time I contact him. I start feeling terrible and upset for even being the first one to reach out . I start feeling weak and unsure. It's like this sick feeling at the pit of my stomach . I had this feeling before when I first cheated when I was kid. As in I'm risking doing this ..why aren't you meeting my level of excitement. Isn't this something wonderful for you too? Do you also get butterflies? Or am I just hallucinating.

The reality it is an excuse to just reach out and have contact. When it doesn't matter to have contact. We are in two different spheres with two different ecosystems.  It's funny because we often make vague promises on keeping in touch because we want to believe it  so bad. That we will be connected but time zones and reality make it an insurmountable maze. Why complicate your life more?

Why try to include someone who doesn't want to be included. or seem not. We never know and it doesn't matter. Let him fade... Let that mild obsession fade. It's crazy because I have all these feelings and conversations in myself. I've had arguments and whirlwind romances with you. I've danced with your figment before ever saying a word to you.

Is it love or fear? Fear of feeling but not receiving. 

You always you....

Girl with tornado thoughts